What to do with LOVE?

Loving, Obsessing, Possessing,  Caring, Creating and Synergising  LOVE

Some days it seems that my little heart is overflowing with love for so many different people, that it leaves me feeling utterly elated and filled with nervous excited energy. The sort of energy I’d call “taspie” as a child. (How do you spell that word?)

Image is from: berlin-artparasites "People grow when they are loved well. If you want tohelp others heal, love them without an agenda." —Mike McHargue #TodaysMantra artwork by Chiara Bautista

However, when working alone, facing an evening at home alone, the chances are that all this wonderful loving energy may well get frittered away unexpressed. So I would like to learn how to harness this energy and express it in creative ways for the good of others and the satisfaction of my own eager heart.

In some ways, writing this blog allows me to share my enthusiasms and passions- or at least lets me think that I am sharing. ( Anyone out there? Please comment if you have read this far!! ;) )

Obsessing..

Unfortunately, all too often this sort of excited energy can make someone obsessive or perhaps even possessive…. I think we are both conditioned and -possibly instinctively- inclined to the idea that the best way to express love is through physical contact:-
a kiss or a hug for starters…

When someone makes you feel energised, happy and glad to be alive, don’t you just want to kiss them? Does this mushroom into a desire to just merge with them, to soak up and exchange all those wonderful feelings and make something amazing with that fused energy?

Of course, at least half the readership are now thinking about the usual, much promulgated way to consummate and express physical passions..

But I am searching for something much more powerful than that;

Possessing

Have you ever been in the same room as someone you felt strongly attracted to? Or have you ever been somewhat fixated on trying to catch the eye of someone you yearn to impress? Have you ever spent most of an occasion in a “background brain state” longing to dance with or speak to or otherwise be in closer contact with the object of your affection/desire?

That is a sort of possessive impulse, which can leave you feeling anxious and drained. Even if the person you are drawn to spends some time with you, it is likely that you will wind up the occasion feeling unsettled, longing for more and somewhat disengaged from what could have been a great opportunity for more general social bonding, or other worthwhile endeavours.

From: The 6 annoying dating habits of middle eastern men

So what’s the alternative? What is the escape route from this tendency to obsess and possess?

Caring

Give yourself some time to fill-up with the feeling of universal unconditional love. 
It only takes a few moments. Lock yourself in a nearby public convenience if you must! Just place your hands on your heart and imagine the light of pure love filling your whole being.

Then go out into the world and read the emotions on people’s faces- not just the surface emotions- but the deeper ones you can glimpse in their eyes and gestures.

Send them love with your thoughts. Wish healing of their wounds. If you are actually physically alone, simply think about the people you know and one by one imagine good things happening to them.

Remember to include yourself in all this well-wishing! Imagine your brain filling up with so many good thoughts and ideas that the clawing, self depricating, destructive ones are simply squashed out.

Creating

And write! Or be otherwise creative when you can. At a party you might sing or dance. When you dance allow yourself to escape into the music. Close your eyes and let the music conjure up visions of other worlds, do what ever moves come to you consciously to get started. Never fear repeating the same movement- work with it until you naturally flow in another. Your imagination and the music will guide you if you let them.

From: http://www.boredpanda.com/yannima-pikarli-tommy-watson/

It’s the same with writing or drawing I find. Start with doodle or a phrase and find the crevice/the odd word that sparks the next phrase or scribble. Sometimes when I draw, it feels like I am just constantly trying to improve or amend the first doodle and then all of a sudden some form magically appears and I start to get more ideas.

The same can apply to any creative act be it cookery or flower arranging or even cleaning the house I suppose! (I still have to find a way to get that particular channel of creativity juicing for me! :) )

The point is that the lonely high anxiety of love can fuel something wonderful, if correctly utilised. Often the feeling of deep loneliness and unfulfilled desires is the keening of our inner muse. Even if poetic endeavours don’t exterminate depression, they may make the depression seem more useful and that can be surprisingly satisfying.

Synergising

But what if the love you feel in your heart is all good and all wonderful and all magical and you just want to share it to make the world a better place? Then rejoice and make haste. Usually this elated feeling comes after an energising experience – maybe even just a conversation that sets our brains alight. So be alert to the ideas that surface- the good ones or potentially good ones of course!

Maybe the person or event that enraptured you, piqued your interest in a book, or a place or a cause.. whatever captivated you at the time that the loving energy swelled within you- pursue that lead. There will probably be more than one thing buzzing in your head.

Some may seem to bring you to dead ends or just dull ends and others may seem to lose their lustre. But persist with all that have even remotely promising potential, for as long as you can. It will sustain the good feeling and help you on your journey through life.

"Somewhere over the rainbow" from The Microsoft clip-art gallery.

Above all, share your discoveries and passions with the people you feel drawn to and connect with those special people. Don’t just assume that they don’t need you and that you’ll both be fine without each other.

Keep Seeking..

I have only ever felt that magical sparkle of interest with a handful of people and all too often I just let it be or let it pass by. The older I get, the more I regret not trying to at least befriend those rare people my soul seemed to resonate with. Kindred spirits are hard to find but usually not that hard to recognise if you are alert to the signs.

Get Excited for the Educational Journey Ahead.

You know how certain people seem to magnetically attract your interest or arouse your curiosity? Some of the people for whom I had this sort of curiosity, told me that they thought we knew each other in a past life. I am not sue about that, but that is the sort of feeling I am talking about! For myself, I have often felt that we are drawn to such people because our instincts realise we could exchange valuable life-lessons with these attractive people.

Perhaps it works like the pheromonal cues that bring well-matched geno-types together for mating. Except that in this case, our subconscious minds are detecting people who possess qualities and skills we need to master- things like grace of movement, confidence, joy, sensitivity etc.

For ultimately, I believe that Love is our best and most wonderful teacher. Everytime you feel it, prepare to learn something; get curious and excited for the educational adventure ahead.

Stoke the love and it will kindle an eternal flame of wonder. There is always more to learn and there is always room for love to grow and dance.

Bothering or befriending? Helping or hassling? The quest to figure it all out begins...

Emerging Part 1

Butterflies-in-cocoons-emerging http://imgkid.com/butterfly-cocoon-opening.shtml

I feel I have awoken from a trance into the world of other people after an absence of decades. The re-emergence began a couple of years ago. A number of family tragedies spurred me to further question how I relate to other people.

 

Growing up in  my teens and twenties, I always got the impression that it was best not  to bother others. It seemed that most of the people I knew had plenty of other better, closer friends. They did not need me and I did not want to be a burden. Besides, I had my mission to be getting on with (- the mission I try not to think about too much these days because it seems to have grown in ambiguity and elusiveness.)

 

I was often given to believe that if I visited people who were ill, I’d only be in the way of closer family members, and then the closer relatives would fuss or be distracted. It seemed like a plausible argument. I did not want to get in the way.

 

But then the ill died, and I wished they had known how much I prayed for them and thought of them and longed to help from afar. Mostly though I just felt sad for them and those who mourned them, but I didn’t know how to help. How do you help people, when you have been brought up to believe that it is best not to bother  people?