WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE THAT “LONE NUT”

Dreading, Loving and Missing It..

Every day last week I would flinch ever so slightly as lunchtime drew near, because I had decided that to fulfil my personal to shake hands with the people I encountered on my lunch-time shopping expeditions! 

Returning from these adventures I always felt buoyed up because everyone I shook hands with smiled! 

Even a guy begging on the streets who looked utterly desolate when I first passed  him, lit up with a wry smile when I gave him some money, shook his hands and told him what I was about. I am happy to report that  when I met him again after the challenge, he remembered my face and told me with a glimmer of hope in his voice, that he would be starting work next week.

The homeless man I spoke to bore a sign like this:

The hand-shaking introduction also allowed me to learn the name of a woman I have often seen working in Tesco’s my the self-service tills. That smiling lady is called Monica!

Deputy Jerry Buttimer gave me one of the best handshakes-
I guess politicians are the professionals at this!

The best handshake I received was form Deputy Jerry Buttimer at the  launch of the Cork Coke Zero Bike Share Scheme. I am not sure if it was due to his political training or a sincere generosity of spirit, but that handshake felt like a very genuine expression of kindness. ( I am not affiliated to any political party but I knew Jerry Buttimer as a child.)

Of course some people insisted on hugs, which was lovely because to be honest the only thing I found hard about the challenge was that often handshaking seemed too formal! I probably should have plucked up the courage to offer the choice of a hug or a handshake every time.. 

However, this idea only occurred to me towards the end.

So… for all the people who have been nominated, that is what I recommend you do- give the recipient a choice and respect the fact that some people may be unable to participate for religious or other reasons.

Good hugs should be less like this: 

And more like this: 

But if you  are still wondering about the mechanics of hugging different types of people this article is invaluable: http://www.wikihow.com/Hug

Pity I only found it after my own botched attempts at hugging! L But hopefully I will get a chance to practice when all my nominees target me. J

Right now though, I feel like the “lone nut” in this video on How to Start a Movement. 

All I need is someone else to dance along and inspire some other more courageous people in the audience. Watch the video. It is short, inspiring and interesting!

To get involved go to: http://www.mycharity.ie/event/healing_hands_happy_hearts/

Or read the “How To Help” section of my previous blog post: http://thequesttobebetter.blogspot.com/2015/03/how-samaritans-helped-me.html

THANKS ALSO TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO DONATED MONEY TO ME DIRECTLY IN RETURN FOR HUGS AND HANDSHAKES- 
Particularly Alex who sells veg. in the Cork City farmers market and his wife Adria who teaches the Rosen Method- a series of exercises designed to release tension all over the body. (It is like giving yourself a massage).

Thanks also to all the people who shook hands with me- it was an honour!

I really miss the contact now that my challenge is over… Watch this space for personal progress reports..

HOW THE SAMARITANS HELPED ME

A Helping Hand .. 

The Flashback that Threw me Back: 

I  definitely could do with a hug today. Most of all, I just want to hug my knees to my chest and shut out the world. I thought I had kissed heartburn good-bye, thanks to following much of the excellent advice of  Ines 6375 on http://www.patient.co.uk/forums/discuss/how-i-cured-my-gastritis. But lately it has been coming back… L

Image from:

 http://www.gaiaonline.com/forum/university-school-roleplay

I was so fed up with that pesky little monkey in my chest today, that I fished  a sheet of esomeprazole out of my desk drawer and took the daily dose. Several hours later it doesn’t seem to have done much good, but I know that Proton Pump inhibitors aren’t really quick fixes.

I’d rather not take them for long though, since they can inhibit absorption of Vitamin B12 and often make me feel nauseated and leaden-bellied after a few days. Also I was doing really much better for a while, so it must be possible to curb the reflux via other methods. I guess I will just have to re-consider my diet and lifestyle choices of late, to see where I have gone wrong. Right now though, I am too sore to handle such recriminations.

Nonetheless, experiences like this, remind me of how I felt when I started to ring the Samaritans.. 

Back then I was in almost constant pain of one form or another, from the moment I woke up, until I went to sleep and often even the reprieve of sleep eluded me.  I was visiting GPs, physiotherapists and trying various alternative therapies on a regular basis, but nothing was really making a huge difference. Plus I was lonely. I wanted to live a better life, but sometimes it was hard to believe I would ever get better.  

I didn’t feel comfortable talking to any of the people I knew about how I was feeling. My mother was my greatest confidante, but it was not fair to burden her with all my woes. And I didn’t really feel close enough to anyone else at the time. So ringing the Samaritans (from a phone box) was the perfect solution. I emailed them sometimes too.

 How the Samaritans help

The Samaritans are a bit restricted in what they can say to you- like many counsellors they can’t give specific advice as such,  but they can ask questions that help you to find your own solutions and most of all they offer a listening ear to people who are at their wits end and just need someone to talk to.

 

This image is from the http://www.samaritansbombay.com/ 

That is why I chose the Samaritans as one of the three charities to raise funds for. I owe them!

How Early Intervention Helps:

The other charities that will benefit from Healing Hands Happy Hearts are : 3Ts: Turn The Tide against Suicide and Pieta House.

I chose these charities because they are both very solutions focused. In different ways they are each working to create facilities and/or societal norms that make it easier for people who are feeling depressed/deeply unhappy, to find support and pathways to inner peace.  

You can find out more about them all here: http://www.pieta.ie/ https://www.facebook.com/pietahouse

http://www.3ts.ie/ https://www.facebook.com/pages/3TS-Turn-The-Tide-of-Suicide/

http://www.samaritans.org https://www.facebook.com/samaritansirl

Like, Pin or share their sites and Facebook pages!

 

How You and I and Everyone We know can all help

My fund-raiser is called: Healing Hands Happy Hearts and I am calling upon each and every reader to take part. All you have to do is:

1.        Pick a day  on which to take note of all the people you shake hands with or hug or pat on the shoulder.

2.       Then go to http://www.mycharity.ie/event/healing_hands_happy_hearts/ :  and donate a nominal amount for each person you made contact with.

a.       I am hoping that everyone will be able to  find at least one person to  hug or shake hands with. Most people should probably be able to raise a fiver at €1 per hug/handshake etc.. Just hug  your closest friends or family members!

b.      Of course, some people, like politicians, morticians and my warm-hearted in-laws, will probably easily hug or shake hands with many more people- so they should probably limit donations to something like 10 cent per hug!! Basically you try to spread as much friendliness as possible and donate what you can afford pro rata.

c.       No credit card? No problem. If you know me you can give me the cash and I will acknowledge your donation on the mycharity page. Or you can just find someone else you know and trust with access to a credit card!

3.       Finally I would love to get a little feedback. So send on whatever thoughts and photos you are happy for me to share online. For example, you could answer one or more of the following questions:

Brandon from the
 http://www.thegoodfoodshop.ie/
One of the people
I shook hands with for the challenge!

a.       How did you feel before you shook people’s hands? How did you feel afterwards?

b.      Who do you most like to hug?

c.       What do you like about hugging people?

d.      What do you like about receiving hugs?

e.      What do you find challenging about making physical contact with people?

(P.S. You may use a nick-name if you like! )

NOTE: If You live outside of Ireland, Please Plagiarise this idea using whatever the equivalent of mycharity.ie is in your country and raise money like this for your local branch of the Samaritans and similar charities. Let me know of your initiative a and I will plug your fundraiser too.

To find out about my own fund-raising week read the next blog post!

Xxooo

Sarah Kate.

[P.S. Since I first started to write this the Heartburn has mercifully abated.]